Expectation

Expectation

​​The ​​​​​​expectation is a very powerful word and we hear and experience them in our day-to-day life. Word expectation is a positive word in a way how we want things to happen in our life. Sometimes we expect things from others and sometimes people expect things from us. And there will be this difference between what people expect from you and what your internal process is.

​​Before we discuss more regarding expect​​ations, I would like to tell one story.

On Sunday night, A young businessman was walking on street and he noticed one poor man was shivering badly due to cold weather. He thought of helping the poor man and reached near him and asked him. Can he bring one woolen jacket tomorrow which can help the poor man from shivering and can prevent it from the cold? The poor man smiled and said he is fine with it.

The next day businessman completely forgot the promise he made to the poor man and realized he was supposed to give one blanket. So on Tuesday early morning he went straight to that poor man and found that poor man is dead and he had letter written in his hand, In his letter poor man writes that he died because he started expecting woolen jacket from the businessman and that expectation made him weaker than he was before, because before he had no expectation. Before he had no expectation and was clear that he would not get any help from anyone and this thought process made his​​ body stronger. But after his meeting with a businessman he thought carried that extra baggage of expectation and that weightage of expectation made his body weaker and he died​​. Its the expectation that resulted death of the poor man.

So managing the expectation has now become an integral part of our life. Not managing expectation whether it is internal or external can cause a lot of issues. I have seen people not managing expectations sometimes suffer from mental or physical illness. We all might have seen different people suffering from Frustration, Nervousness, Feeling of being left out, Stress, depression, anxiety. It does not mean that that expectation is the only reason for such mental illness, but it is one of the primary reasons for a mental disorder. We might also see people who have complain about anything and everything even they have to complain about GOD. Why? Because expectations are very high and they get different from what they expect.  

Some of the main reasons of these issues because we expect :

1) He/She did not call me.

2) I wanted to finish everything in one day.

3) He/She did not ask me for my advice before making a decision.

4) He/She did not think about my situation.

5) Why I should apologize?

6) How can he/she do this?

As someone rightly said and there is a proverb in Gujarati –  “પારકી આશ સદા નિરાશ” – Meaning – The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone

A recent study shows that, Nearly Half of India Inc. employee suffering from depression

That’s a warning for all of us. Remember Prevention is better than cure. So if we were to deal with such problems we should always focus on root cause rather than finding stopgap very short term solution.  

Following points may help you to manage the expectation

1) Learn to Say NO: You don’t have to agree with what is being said to you. You will start hurting your self once you start saying yes to everything even though internally you wanted to say NO. So make your self ready to say NO if it does not suit you. As simple as that.

2) Not everything that we think and worry about is going to happen:We all know this, but still, we expect things to happen just like we think. If some negative/positive things happen to someone then we start thinking and expect that thins thing could happen to us as well. But this may or may not happen and when it does not go as per our expectation we tend to get disappointment, stress, etc..

3) It is not going to matter what everybody thinks.Yes, it sounds cliche, but it is simple as that – It none of your business to what others think about you or decision you take. Don’t expect that what you do will be liked by everyone. So be cool about it and do your best.

4) Time is the best medicine, let it pass. Time heal most of the things. If you expect anything and if you don’t get that then don’t worry and get hurt – time will heal most of the issues.

5) Be honest about your self.If there is something you can not do then, be it, Say NO clearly. Please do note that you are living for your self first and then for others. So no point of serving others if you feel hurt when you do something which you did not want to do.

​​6)​​Understand the difference between what is practical and what you want.​ : ​ This is the main point and we all have to understand that there are good chances that everything we wish or want would be practically possible. We live in the “Anything Is Possible” world. But a wise man understands the difference between word want and possible and know the ground reality. So be very clear about it. Anything you want then work hard for it – don’t expect any help from the outside world(If you get it then it is fine). As they have their own life and reasons to help/not help you. Don’t carry the baggage of expectation on your shoulder. It’s too heavy and makes you feel very stressful. 

7) Social media : Manage your Soical Media activity wisely. Dont get addict with Mobile Phone or Social Media too much . Someimes when we see social media we see people enjoying vacation, hanging out with friends,family, enjoying some events and thinks everyone is happy except you. Looking at social media we start And this can happen to all of us but this is completely false imaginataion and does not have any relation with their actual life.

​Conclusion: Don’t expect anything from anyone. ​Everyone is too busy in their life there are good chances they might be expecting you. Have a very clear vision in your life and be very practical about what you expect from your life. 
God has given us a good life to fulfill our dreams and things we want in our life. Today is the day to live our life. If someone expects that they will enjoy life after X years then that is not entirely true and probably that person is living in la-la land. As no one knows what is going to happen tomorrow. There end number of possibilities as to what will happen tomorrow. More often than not expectations give a disappointment, stress, frustrations. While we all are living for a happy and healthy life.

So I see below formula applicable for all people in very high probability.

MORE EXPECTATION (with other person or situation)
Lead to
LESS ACCEPTANCE
Lead to
MORE DISSATISFACTION
Lead to
MORE STRESS, DEPRESSION, other mental issue etc.
Lead to
LESS QUALITY OF LIVING

So next time when expectations come to your mind – Loudly Say NO.

Dhaval Thakkar

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